The Winner of MΩST Tawdry Twitter Tw∆T in 2019?

Why is twitter so damn cool? I could give you the academic synopsis, but I will keep it brief. We have a president that is utilizing a revolutionary tool to communicate with the world in the same way FDR used the radio in his fireside chats. There is no theoretical difference. Our culture has changed in its aesthetic acceptance. This phenomenon goes beyond the president in the same way Orson Wells’ “War of the Worlds” used the same medium.

This is not fake news. You’ll wish it was before it’s over, but this humble wordsmith doesn’t play that shit. Neither do our favorite Twats that Tweet whatever comes to mind at any given time. That is why we are a nation in love with the platform. I know I can’t wait to see what Kanye West may spew into his feed at 4 a.m.

These guys aren’t winning the twat olympiad of 2019 though. Our lord and savior Elon Musk is taking everyone to the woodshed. After being fined by the SEC for $20 million dollars for tweeting he was taking Tesla private and had secured funding, he simply stated, “It was worth it.” The only thing he could have said to make it even better was to follow up with the comment, “Damn it feels good to be a gangster.”

Which he pretty much did. There were stipulations in conjunction with the fine, one of which required him to hire someone to monitor his twitter activity among other forms of adult in-school suspensions.

So, the 2019 Twat award goes to none other than the only man that can save us from impending doom(Well the scientist, not the politician, or the musician who were previous winners.)


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